Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
