dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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