Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
