Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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