I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
