I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
