yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
