I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize