Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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