well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
