OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
as a side note pls kill me
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
