So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
