was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
