We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I just googled if crying burns calories
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
