2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize