Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
