Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
