honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
