I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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