new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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