Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
