dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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