At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
