Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
