i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
