Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
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i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
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This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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