I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
