I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
