The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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