We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
