i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
