someone owes me an orgasm
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His hands were made for my vagina.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize