youre lurking in front of me
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
