this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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