if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize
