You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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