We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
We just shotgunned beers for America
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
