i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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