I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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