My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
