Please, let me fuck your mom
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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