you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
