I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
