you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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