I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
no you cant smoke seaweed
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
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