evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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