I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
My dick has a subreddit
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
