so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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