I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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