sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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