There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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