hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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