WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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