I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
