i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Randomize