Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
