fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Randomize
