One girl and one boy is just not enough.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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