You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Randomize
