I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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