Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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