Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
