Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
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That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
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Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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