those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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