she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
