got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize
