I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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