btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
