ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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