In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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